Friday, December 20, 2013



***This novel contains graphic sexual content and harsh language. It is only appropriate for adult readers age 18+. 

Have you ever been so angry that hitting things felt good? Or so numb that you actually felt high? The past few years have been like that for me. Traveling between fury and indifference with no stops in between.

Some people hate me for it, while others are scared of me. But none of them can hurt me, because I don't care about anything or anyone.

Except Tatum.

I love her so much that I hate her. We used to be friends, but I found out that I couldn't trust her or anyone else.

So I hurt her. I pushed her away.

But I still need her. The sight of her centers me, and I can pool all of my anger into her. Engaging her, challenging her, bullying her...they are my food, my air, and the last part of me that feels anything human.

But she left. She went to France for a year, and came back a different girl.

Now, when I push, she pushes back.


Where do I begin.  Jared bullied Tate, that is undeniable.  But why did he?  After reading Bully, I still couldn't wrap my head around why Jared did what he did.  I couldn't understand why Tatum forgave him for what he did to her for two years.  However, after reading Until You from Jared's POV, it gave me a little more understanding to what motivated Jared.  I actually felt a little sorry for Jared.

Jared and Tate were inseparable.  They were best friends.  They have always loved each other, but at fourteen years old, who really knows how to express their feelings.  Neither one of them told each other how they felt about each other.  When the opportunity arose for Jared to go spend the summer with his father he jumped at it because his feelings were hurt that Tate was going to the movies with another kid. 

Jared was brutally abused by his father that summer and was forced to do unimaginable things with his step-brother.  His father was Satan himself.  When Jared returned home that summer, he was changed.  He was not the happy go lucky boy that left home that June.  When he returned, he was broken, his spirits crushed, and the only way for him to not focus on how much he hated himself and his father, was to focus that attention on something else.  Tate just happened to be on the receiving end of Jared's hatefulness. He pushed away the one person that understood him, loved him, comforted him. He pushed away, Tate. 

While reading Until You, I actually felt compassion for Jared.  To hear what he went through and even though he was bullying Tate, he did some of it just to keep her safe.  He always knew Tate deserved the best.  While he was spreading rumors about her to keep the guys at bay, he did it because he loved her.  He didn't want Tate to end up with someone like him.

Tate couldn't take another year of Jared torturing her, so she opted to spend a year abroad in France.  This was probably the worse year of Jared's life.  Jared needed Tate to feel whole.  He needed to breathe the same air that Tate did.  Jared went on a very destructive past that year while Tate was gone, and ended up getting arrested.  Jared needed guidance in his life, that is where Tate's father stepped in.  He knew Jared was a good kid, he just needed to be placed on the right path. 

When Tate returns home after being gone for a year, she had changed.  She vowed that she was not going to be a victim.  Tate was a new girl and she found her inner strength.

"I'll have you in tears in no time" ~ I promised.  She stared at me, almost amused.  "You've already made me cry countless times." And she raised her middle finger to me.  "Do you know what this is?" she asked as she took it and patted the corner of her eye with it.  "It's me, wiping away the last tear you'll ever get."  And she turned around and walked away.

When Tate stood up for herself, the game had changed.  Jared saw the old Tate.  The strong Tate that he fell in love with when he was just a young boy.  I will be honest.  I wanted to hate Jared for what he did.  It was hard not to hate him, after seeing how he tormented Tate for two years.  BUT, and that is a BIG BUT, I still managed to fall in love with him.  I could see the good in him.  It may have taken him a while to show his true feelings for Tate and when he did, I was ecstatic.  They always say, if a boy teases you, or pulls your hair, that usually means they like you. YES, Jared did do these things as a teenager, he obviously went overboard with it, but all in all, he did what he did because he loved Tate.

I was happy that Tate and Jared got the happily ever after.  The two of them deserve to be with their soul mates.  They are connected on a level that many will never experience.  They are each others.  She is his, and he is hers.

I think my favorite quote in the book is.

"Yesterday Lasts Forever.  Tomorrow Comes Never.  Until You." ~ Jared

Penelope, thank you for giving us Jared's POV.  It helped us readers understand him better.  To see why he did what he did.  To know the torment that he was going through.  It was nice to get a little glimpse into Jared's heart.  To know that it beats for Tate. 


Penelope Douglas is a writer and teacher in Las Vegas. Born in Dubuque, Iowa, she is the oldest of five children. Penelope attended the University of Northern Iowa, earning a Bachelor's degree in Public Administration, because her father told her to "just get the degree!" She then earned a Masters of Science in Education at Loyola University in New Orleans, because she hated Public Administration. One night, she got tipsy and told the bouncer at the bar where she worked that his son was hot, and three years later they were married. To the son, not the bouncer. They have spawn, but just one. A daughter named Aydan. Penelope loves sweets, the show Sons of Anarchy, and she shops at Target almost daily.



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My name is Tate. He doesn't call me that, though. He would never refer to me so informally, if he referred to me at all. No, he'll barely even speak to me.

But he still won't leave me alone.

We were best friends once. Then he turned on me and made it his mission to ruin my life. I've been humiliated, shut out, and gossiped about all through high school. His pranks and rumors got more sadistic as time wore on, and I made myself sick trying to stay out of his way. I even went to France for a year, just to avoid him.

But I'm done hiding from him now, and there's no way in hell I'll allow him to ruin my senior year. He might not have changed, but I have. It's time to fight back.

*This novel contains adult/mature young adult situations. It is only suitable for ages 18+ due to language, violence, and sexual situations.

 **This book is the first in a series but can be read as a STAND ALONE. The next books will focus on side characters from this story.


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