Tuesday, December 30, 2014



Katie’s world came crashing down in an instant.

Her husband, daughter, and unborn baby. . . all gone in a flash. The life that she’d come to know, gone before she ever really got to live it.

With a broken heart, she deals the only way she knows how, by shutting it all off. No communicating, no feelings, just pure nothingness.

Alone with nothing but her own thoughts and a well meaning family, she moves back to her childhood home, a horse farm. It’s there that she finds herself healing along with the horses her family rehabilitates. But when Parker McKenzie comes back into her life she’s reminded of all that went wrong, and all that she lost.

Will Katie ever begin to heal? Or will her secrets and loss be too much for her to overcome?

Perhaps, this is her kismet.

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Katie lost everyone she loved in a blink of an eye.  Katie is broken, she feels as though she doesn't have a reason to go on living.  Katie wanted to die, she felt worthless, undeserving of living.  Her husband, her daughter, and her unborn child were killed in a car accident, yet she survived.  Katie feels as though it is was fate, she was being punished her for mistakes that she made in her past.  She was paying for her poor decisions. It is her KISMET

When released from the hospital Katie's parents take her with them, back to her childhood home.  Katie will not communicate with anyone, she will not speak or acknowledge them. While at her parents' home, she has a visitor.  Someone whom she never expected nor wanted to see.  He broke her heart once, and she was not in the right state of mind to deal with him again.  

Growing up Katie had always tagged along with her brother Tommy and his best friend, Parker.  The three of them were best friends, they were inseparable, until things began to change between Katie and Parker.  Parker always looked after Katie, first as a little sister, but his feelings began to change as they got older.  Parker makes a decision that effects both Katie and himself.  

When Parker hears of what happened to Katie, he believes it's fate that brought them back together again.  He vows that he will do everything in his power to be there for Katie.  Katie needs to love and support of her family, and he was once a part of that.  

Katie was struggling with forgiving herself from the mistakes of her past and allowing herself to live.  Katie is carrying a secret that she needs to tell in order to move on and forgive herself.  This secret effects everyone.  Will everyone be able to forgive her?  Will this secret push those she loves further away?  Can Katie open herself up again to the possibility of love?  Is it true that we only have one true love?  Does Katie deserve a second chance at life, a second chance at love?  

Throughout the book, I was drawn to Parker.  I was routing for Parker.  He was not perfect, he made mistakes, but he usually had Katie's best interest at heart.  He wanted the best for her.  Even if that meant, it wasn't him.  

"I know it night not have seemed like it in the past, but I love you, Katie.  Everything I've ever done has been for you." 

I have to say that I never saw the ending coming.  I was completely SHOCKED!!  I understand why the author did what she did, I just did not expect it.  KISMET is a book that I could read again.  It somehow embedded itself in my heart, and I think that it gave me a little insight on life.  Live life to the fullest because you never know when those you love could be taken from you.  When you lose people you love, it does not mean that you cannot move on.  It means that you now have guardian angels. People to watch over you.  Your loved ones would want to you live. To live for them.  


The television is on, but I’m not really watching. More like just absently staring at the screen. My fingers twirl a strand of my once vibrant, dirty-blonde hair. It has grown dull and lifeless, just like me, but I can’t find an ounce of me that actually cares.

I have come to a realization. The good doctor, whom I won’t refer to as a doctor from here on out, seems to think that there is hope for me, but I know better. I know what I did, and I know that this is my punishment for all the lies I told—all the truths that went unspoken. There are things that nobody knows about me, things that brought all this pain and heartache to me, and the longer I lie here, the more I understand that this is what was meant to happen. If I’d only done things differently then maybe things would be better, but they’re not.

My pain is my reminder.

Fate can be a beautiful thing. The universe works in mysterious ways. It brings you hope, makes you feel alive, like the world if full of possibilities. But the truth is that fate can also be a cruel bitch. Fate has a darker side to it that most people don’t like to think about. You make choices that lead to your fate, but what about when you don’t have a choice in the matter? Then it’s no longer your fate. It becomes something predetermined that you have no control over. Some may call it destiny. I call it kismet.

I can remember of learning the word kismet during SAT prep. I remember Mrs. Saxton, my English teacher, standing in front of the room reading the Webster definition straight from the dictionary. “A power that is believed to control what happens in the future.” Everyone took it at face value, that it was just another word for fate, but for me it seemed like so much more.

Why have it be just another word for fate? There must be something to differ it from a word that was supposed to be so beautiful. It was then that I imagined kismet to be the darker side of fate. The evil twin. The side that no one likes to talk about.

I had no choice in all this, the death and despair. Instead, I am paying for my poor decisions. To refer to all of this as my fate seems unjust, a cruel and unusual punishment, in fact. So as bad as it hurts, I realize that this is the dark side of fate for me.

This is my kismet…

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